Some days….part 1

Some days are bad days,
Days you wake up and the Sun’s rays ignore you
Or worse off curve to avoid touching you
And you wake up and hit you pinky toe on the corner of a table
Worse still the pain is unbearable and you realize you left a piece of flesh on the table you hit
You cuss shouting several FUCK YOU’s
Then your uber religious grandma hears you and lectures you
Then your toes feel sticky
You see a pool of blood forming on your sandal
The sandal that you saved up 4,000 bob to buy
Because of stupid twitter standards
You head to the bathroom and find no water
You get some from the tank and realize you dont have soap
You clean up the wound,wincing in muted tones fuck you and motherfucker and shit
You get the first aid kit and the bottle of spirit is all that is there
Smiling the grinning like the skunk you found on your bed because your brother is an asshole and enjoys fucking with people
You put some on a cotton swab and dab gently
The pain is excruciating so you scream ‘coz you’re a little bitch
The kitten your baby sister wanted walks in and upsets the whole bottle on your toe
You nearly pass out from the pain
And when your senses stop clashing you grab the kitten and punch it in the throat
Oh the triumph!!
As you punch it repeatedly with the weird rapist like smile on your face your baby sister walks in
She screams and starts crying
You move to stop her wails and hit the same toe on the table again
The kitten,now free, sinks it’s claws in the wound
The look on its face is like,
Yeah! How you like me now you bitch ass fuckwad!!??
You scream out in pain
Your brother walks in with a snail on a stick and a handful of salt
He trips on the kitten and thus launches the snail and the salt into the air
The snail lands on your chin and at the same time the salt on your toe

Yeah….bad huh…

Pain shoots up your body and makes you knock down the PS4 from your table and falls on your hand breaking your thumb
All the while the snail is crawling up towards your mouth held open by the screams and curses
You toss off the snail as your parents dash in to find you covered in salt, blood, tears, sweat and snail slime
You head to the hospital and find hakuna anaesthesia so they use local on you
Local being they gag your mouth,tell you to shut the fuck up,grow some balls and be a man
The doctor starts stitching you up as tears roll down your face
You squirm from the sight of the needle and the sexy nurse tells you to stop being such a pussy

Yeah….there are just some days….this is only part one…. Ready for 2?


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